Inside the very first episode we dive into my mission—the reason why I started this podcast. Read on to hear my stories on tattoos, travel, retirement, and breaking some old habits (and rules!) in order to be truly successful and happy.
Before really diving in, I want to share a little bit about my mission as to why I decided to start this podcast. But also why I choose to run my business and why I wake up every single day. This all drives me to promote my offers, to serve my community, and to support my clients.
Ultimately when I sit down and try to figure out why I do what I do, it boils down to the fact that I love helping others. In particular, I love helping folks realize that you don’t have to follow the rules!
I know there are a lot of rules that are in place for good reasons. There are rules around health, safety, and all that good stuff. But there are some other rules that honestly don’t resonate with me. And I know that they don’t resonate with a lot of my community.
So that you know a little bit of my background, I’ve always been a very traditionally well-behaved kid.
Growing up I always tried to do the right thing. That meant having to behave, to be nice, to not rock the boat, and to not make anyone angry. Through that, I obviously grew up. I went to school, graduated from high school, went to university, got a good degree….
Which by the way, when you’re graduating from high school at like 17 I had no idea what I was going to do with the rest of my life.
I was absolutely clueless.
But as that “responsible kid” I figured: “okay, business”.
A business degree is going to be what’s going to propel me forward. It’s going to open up so many doors, it’s going to be that one thing that sets me up for success regardless of what I decide to do in the long term or what career I decide to go into.
So on I went into a 5-year program!
I tried my best to behave and play by the rules. I then graduated and got a full-time job right out of school. At most I spent about 6 months unemployed before I landed this gig. On paper, it was great!
It was a reputable career located in the financial district of a big city. It was just one of those things that made sense—that’s what you do. You grow up.
You’re a kid, you go to school, you have your career, you retire, and that’s the end of the story. There’s probably a family there somewhere in between if that’s your cup of tea.
So I did that—I followed that traditional path.
But when it comes to the rules, it’s the whole concept of being on the traditional path that rubs me the wrong way.
The traditional path is the path that’s made out to be common, the path most traveled. It’s the one that people typically recommend that you take because it’s sensible. You’re essentially setting yourself up for success so that you can make money, pay your bills, start a family, hopefully buy a house, etc.
However, that’s not what everybody wants.
What happened then is that I started to realize that there were a lot of things that I was missing out on.
Where I was working at the time, there was a colleague and good friend of mine that I remember comparing myself to.
I would look and notice we were in a very similar position. We had a similar title, we were getting similar pay, and we were both living downtown.
We were pretty much at the same “stage in life”.
However, she had graduated from university and traveled the world. I believe she had traveled for about two years and she had been everywhere that I would have loved to go to.
She lived, she worked, she traveled, and she experienced so many new things. She met all these new people, probably learned a lot about herself throughout that process and then one day decided, “Okay, I’m done for now. I’m gonna go back home, get a job, get an apartment, maybe meet somebody (I’m sure that’s not what she was thinking at the moment haha), and just settle down.”
And now, here we were, two people, in the same shoes, same age, same everything. But she had actually gone ahead and lived her life.
For me, that was one of those lightbulb moments that I was like “Ohhh dear lord! Like, what am I doing?”
So I thought, “Okay, you know what, I have a good job, I can probably still travel. Right?”
LOL wrong!! I asked for vacation time, and it was like NOPE! (I think at the time my vacation was capped at either 2 or 3 weeks and I wanted a month or more).
So, I had to wait an entire year until I was granted that additional week that would allow me to go and do a full trip across Europe.
So, was I really living life on my own terms? No.
Was I doing things that I was passionate about? Something that I thought were exciting and worth actually doing as opposed to just sitting in my cubicle every day? No.
There was another example, another lightbulb moment.
If I look back, I’ve been wanting my very first tattoo since I was probably 18 or 19 years old.
But, like that “responsible kid”, I was like you know what, I can’t get a tattoo because I might regret it … right?
Like what if I get it in a weird spot? What if I get old and my skin sags and then it just doesn’t look good and it’s just ugly? Or what if the tattoo has no meaning and then I just regret it because I’m so detached from it?
Or the big one, (well not so big but the one that felt the biggest at the time for me) was that I had to make sure that if I ever got a tattoo that it was hidden. It had to be either on my back or on my ribcage. Essentially somewhere where I could still look “professional” and go to the office and client meetings, and not have a visible tattoo.
Then again was another lightbulb moment:
Why am I following all these rules?!
I’m following all these expectations that I thought people had of me, and of society, and of the world, when they don’t make me happy.
Because I want to travel, I wanted to get a tattoo, and I was holding myself back because it just didn’t feel like the right thing to do. Shouldn’t I be breaking these habits already?!
I remember somebody once told me: “Don’t worry, you’ll be able to travel later” and I flat out said, “No, what if I can’t? Retirement isn’t a guarantee. Nobody can guarantee me that when I reach 65, that first of all I’ll have the funds to retire, and secondly that I’ll be healthy enough to travel.”
And they just sat there flabbergasted, looking at me like I was crazy and like I don’t know—had an alien coming out of my head or something.
But it’s true!
There’s no knowing what’s going to happen in the future and honestly when all those thoughts started to pop up and I started to realize that although I had a really good job, I was paying bills, things were getting taken care of, I was safe, I was living in a good place, I was in a good relationship, great family, the great team at work…
I wasn’t actually happy, fully.
Not the kind of happiness that in theory, I should be able to experience.
So that’s when I decided I’m not waiting for retirement. I’m not waiting to be truly happy. I’m not waiting to do the things that I truly need to do. So I decided to start breaking old habits.
Read about all the pivots I made, from quitting my 9-5 to becoming a business coach.
What’s really crazy is that I actually feel that every now and then. I can sense how some of that rule-following behavior continues to creep up in my life and even in my business.
It’s that need to know everything. To do everything the right way, to implement the right strategies, and to do everything perfectly so that you don’t miss anything. So that you can perfectly nurture your community and your audience. So that you can convert them into paying clients.
It becomes this overly complicated strategy and method/ way of running a business that actually holds me back.
Luckily that’s something that yes, I’m able to address and to start breaking those habits.
It’s something that I’m able to work on on my own, to work on with the support of my coaches, and to work past it.
That way I can actually let go of some of those rules, let go of some of that pressure.
I realize that by being myself, that by just allowing that passion to shine through in my content, in my business, to just let that energy be magnetizing, and following my intuition, I get to call people in and to attract them without any of the added pressure.
I can allow that to be the main driver for my business and for the decisions that I make with respect to marketing and selling.
Whenever I do that, whenever I’m just myself and I’m in flow, and I don’t force things, and I don’t follow the rules, that’s when I see the most traction, that’s when I see the most success, and that’s when I’m the happiest!
It was the coolest realization!
Honestly, any of you that are feeling stuck should consider breaking some old habits. Especially any of you that are feeling like you’re just following the rules—rules that were not made for you.
Consider making your own rules so that you can pave your own path. So that you can build a life and a business that actually suits you. A life that resembles more of YOUR dream as opposed to resembling someone else’s dream.